larry's jizz

lathered on sliced baguettes from Berkeley Bowl, he tops it off with shrimp chunks and cheese. it was hella good but he wouldn't tell me what his jizz sauce is made out of!

he makes me unproductive.

thirsty

i'm super thirsty cuz i'm eating cheez its even though i shouldn't.. well at least they're the reduced fat ones. not as salty.

i should be studying for my test.. but i'm being hella lazy!

i'm still in love with maxwell! a lot of his songs are so beautiful!

whenever wherever whatever- maxwell. it's a good song!

bday celebrations all over the place!! halloween comin up! dunno how i'm gonna be able to focus on school with all these festivities haha

waking up..

Maxwell- Pretty Wings

SO GOOD. Maxwell is the shitttt.

I'm killing my time by looking at different youtube covers of this song.
I like this one the mosttttt:


Anyway, I need to start waking up on TIME!!! I've missed so many things this week because I woke up super late!
Missed my morning lecture class both Tuesday and Thursday, woke up at 3:30pm today when I should've woken up at 11am for the Education Summit!
I went home Saturday for a cousin bday dinner thing, and it was really chilllll to see my family without the old people.. but they always find ways to come to our gatherings lol. We wanted to open up the Grey Goose but they came!!! BOOO. Haha my dad told me last week that he didn't like my nose piercing and that my grandma didn't like it either after he told her about it. BUT when she came to the gathering and saw my nose piercing, she said she likes it! she said my nose looks pretty LOL my dad is a LIAR!!!
I have a tight ass grandma!

I'm starting my internship at DataCenter, and it's a really tight grassroots org that helps build power to other underprivileged/marginalized communities by helping to collect data and thangs for campaigns.
I went to a CalSERVE community meeting today, and it was so tight seeing the diverse group we haveeeeee represented! =] Makes me hella proud

K, time to do some work!!

i am deprived!

of vegetables
of sleep
of physical activity
of creativity.

but i'm running on caffeine!

BUTTT i just planned this workshop on modern day slavery for the youth at Shadow Day tomorrow! i'm super excited. wendy and i are going to make a documentary some day =]

okay, it's been like 2 months of not writing in this... i almost forgot about this blog because i tried to get into tumblr, which is pretty cool but i'm not consistent with that one either.

life in Berkeley is as busy as ever! but it's great =]. I'm missing my beautiful friends Anna, Aleta, and Ronnie who are studying abroad! Hella jealous =[

in my moments up til school started in august:
danced at clubs =]
long beach race- fun shiiiit
ruined my liver
ruined my liver
ruined my liver
ruined my liver
ruined my liver
ruined my liver
reach! core retreat
NBC workers campaign- spoke at the rally August 24th.
helped facilitate a workshop at the lao family conference in oakland

once school began:
gone crazy figuring out my classes
reach! loving
-reach general retreat
-reach meetings
-reach core meetings/bonding
bridges retreat
my cuzzz hella left me and went to davis! booo, no more jolly's united..
bought hella paint materials but i barely have time to do any painting!
nose piercing
-hiding it for 3 weeks from parents- last weekend i went home for my grandpa's bday, and showed them... not too ecstatic about it unlike my dream i had of my dad being cool with it
got scared from watching paranormal activity with a loser!
ODEE's birthday last week =] happy 21st!

boo, this isn't letting me upload any pictures.... oh well.

this weekend i'm going to a bunch of conference things and hopefully i'll be able to set some time to studyyyyy!!

wee o weee

Everything's coming together pretty well, except I have 3 loads of laundry that I am not in the mood to do. PCA just finished, and I already miss it a LOT. The students are beautiful, and I hope to remain connected with them. KEKEKEKE, I found out some of the students are in relationships with each other. SO CUTE.



After this week of dragonboat practices, it's time for the Long Beach race this weekend. I'm pretty excited but I have shoulder pains =[ And a fat fat blister on my butt. =\


So, if you don't know him, Wilkent is THE BEST person in the WORLD!! He got us into BOSS and we didn't have to wait in line!! Those club promoters are the best.. Set4lifeonline.com is wassup.

uhhh..Wilkent Luu is dumb. lol

oh what fun it is to ride..

this weekend was amazing. i went to LA and had so much fun! it was so happy and exciting.
best memories of my life!

sore thumb

i have a sore thumb and i don't know what caused it.
maybe the purple nail polish i lathered on it?
it's tender in some parts if i press it with my index.
slightly painful but still i like to feel my nerves prickle.


im waiting to feel sleepy.. youtubing random artists that my sister tells me about. she likes The Script... they're pretty gooood. Listen to their song "breakeven"

but right now i'm loving Sade's music.

omG my toilet just made weird noises, like it just flushed... but no one's here!! creeepyyyy.

goodnight!

family feuds..

suck



so much.

wii boxing at 3am

im kicking it with my cousins at my cousin's placeeee and it's so fun! today was my sister's graduation dinner with all the family at moonstar. before that though i woke up at santos' place after a crazy night of relishing in gossip with loverlie people i haven't seen for a longggg while. i stayed over at santos' place, and when i woke up, i tried her mom's chocolate rice, which is a pilipino breakfast thangggg, her mom tells me. it was hella delicious!!

i then met up with sandy and diane to eat some brunch and to catch up on our lives! we went to howard's cafe on irving and 9th. i liked it but the service was shitty.. so friggin' shitty. this one waitress was rude and didn't do a very good job being welcoming. that kinda ruined my experience there. but i had a good brunch meal nonetheless.

thennnnn we helped sandy make pasta salad at her place, which was hella fun haha. we looked at old pictures and talked more about people =].

at 7 was my sister's thangggg and it was really cool that a lot of family were there- both mom and dad's side. there wasn't enough seats for us cuz i guess my dad miscounted how many ppl would show up. we were super noisy ahha i loved it! there were hella youngen children and babies at our party. i love babies and children!!!

we all moved our partayyyy to our cousin's place where i am watching ppl play wii boxing and they're super sweating [my sister and my cousins lol]. one of my cousins brought gray goose and red bull... i had some but my dad was trippin cuz i was red =\ hahaha. darn my flushing!!!

yay dim sum tm morning!

inspired

I freakin' love the high school students I'm getting to know at the PCA summer program that I work at. They're all really amazing young people, and they are all hella intelligent!! We just finished our first week of PCA, and it was really smooth. Freeden the instructor for the class "Crime in the Inner City" is so knowledgeable and he's the shiiiiiit! Many of the students I talk to really enjoy the articles we've been reading. Horray!!

Also, the students and mentees I've kept in contact with are sooo inspiring! I love seeing them doing hella big things or hearing them talk about wanting to further their education and things. It's beautiful.

I've been working out a lot this week too, and it's awesome!! I love dragonboating and our work outs! Well the work outs are a pain in the ass but they're good. I ran 3 miles and did 12 minutes of running up stairs on Monday was disgusting!! I was sore alllllll over. Yesterday I ran some more with them, and today we had practice. Horray!

Now I just need to get into the habit of working out some more!

Damn you RSF...

happy birthday Trinh and Wendy!

i don't like people stepping on my shoes or toes.
or be in crowded bumpy places when going clubbing.
or be yelled at by the DJ after someone with a big o' booty shoved me with her big o' booty toward where the DJ was playing.
that was tonight's clubbing incidents that i remember... it was for Wendy's bday! It was cool and all; just super crowded n stuff...

buttttt to celebrate Trinh's bday, on Tuesday I went with the roomies minus Odee and Thear and Anna to Hayward and spent some time with Trinh. We went to New Park Mall, then we watched the NBA finals at Trinh's.. then we played pool!! it was really fun =]
it was super crowded though in Thear's car when we were driving back cuz we had 6 ppl fit into a Honda.

Wednesday was Wendy's bday and we celebrated at my place. mighty chill.

And Yesterdayyyy (thursday) was the clubbing thing that i just mentioned. and yeeepppp.

happy early birthday to Chris yee.. he's turning 21 on Saturday, so we'll be celebrating some more!! horrayyy.

i just fed a bunch of people FOOOODDDD. i feel like a housemaid person!

festivities

it's been a wild ride these past few weeks, but i realize i need to just chill and relax! i feel like i always have to go out everyday or else my day gets wasted, but just being home is good too.
today [or, yesterday morning] was Sainie's graduation from Lincoln, and it was cooool cuz it was at the Giants stadium! Pretty interesting at a new place besides Civic Center.

yesterday i raced with Cal db team again at lake merritt in oakland. it was fun cuz i miss it soo much, and it was sunnny so i tried getting tan.. only, my face is probably sunburned cuz i stayed in the sun a lot. i was dying though because the night before... i played mafia at Beefy's til 5am!! haha it was insane.

on saturday, ronnie and i went to a World Festival thingie at People's park, and it was sooo tight!! i loved the music and vendors of handmade crafts from different cultures like African and Tibetan. One of the performers was a group from Zimbabwe that was exiled to Oregon because of their political movement and music. Soooo much more refreshing than the stuff on the radio.

on friday i went with Francis, Wendy, Jimmy and Ronster to an art gallery in Oakland featuring local artists. it was tight cuz there was this like youth street skater hip hop theme to the place. then we tried taking random pictures while walking back to Jimmy's car but it was dampened by this lady yelling at us to not stand on this fence.. boo her!

i should start typing my blogs with the format like MLIA... Today I didn't want to get up at 7am. My sister's boyfriend yelled to wake me up and startled me. So I got up. MLIA.

twit twit

oh and i just added myself onto twitter.. so you can find me as cornehh.

what a JOLLY summer so far

I'm on my 2nd week of summer, and it's been insanely busy! But always in a good way. I went to Las Vegas with my sister Wanny, her bf Joe, cousin Pauline and John. Lost hella money but my trip was basically paid for so it was beautifullllllll. I really enjoy vacations where I'm not trying to be everywhere and doing too much.. which is basically what I do in "real life". I'm always sad when I'm flying back on the airplane because I know i'll be going back to reality. Blah.
But I got to run to the end of SEAgrad and see some beautiful people =] That night of SEAgrad (May 23rd) was Fong's graduation party. That was fun until some weird music came on and I didn't get how to dance to it haha. We also went boooowwwlllingggg and yeeep. A lot of festivities and suchhhhh =]. But I should really chill for a second because I'm doing too much!

This past week was full of Wendy and Jimmy explorations haha. And Eric Phamming. hahaha
JOLLY JOLLY JOLLY

Some goals for the summer:
Paint
Draw
Read a lot of books
Kick ass as a PCA tutor (starts next week!
Talk to my family more
Go less on the computer (though I've gone on way more! =[ )
Knit more
Learn to sew clothes
Spend time with friends
Plan for REACH!
Relax


Who wants dim sum??

decisions

i hate being in situations where I have to make decisions that'll change a lot of things... why am i always in those situations? I had to tell EAOP that I won't be doing their internship in the fall because it conflicted with doing things for REACH in the fall... it suckssss cuz that's what i hella want to dooooo!!! UGHHHH i hate it cuz i wanted to do bothhhhh so badly. but veronica and fong told me how they felt about it and they thought it wouldn't be smart to thin myself out too much =\.

on the other hand.... finals season has arrived and it stanks!

blaaaab

booooo the rain!

grounded

Hellooo world- world that's too small to be called a world.....
I want you to learn more about me
than what i've been learning about you.
in the books you seem so tangible, predictable, concrete.
But the jagged edges torn between pages
deny the cracks left behind;
soil that has never seen the sun or the flaps of wings
beyond our sight.
where is the two way street?
paved ways find a mid point at the horizon
where i find no end but more dirt and tracks of footprints.
items of life left behind as time drags on,
as colors change and memories wash away with the raindrops.
you scream loudly. wind hits my eardrums,
i can never hear my own breathing.

i want to tell you my story of the time i tried
to branch out of your grasp on a cherry picker.
but 60 feet high barely hovered above the telephone lines
that web our sky.
still trying to figure you out and my role as a blink of this eye.
what can i do as you and others control what
we can think and feel?

let go of your gravity.

beautiful people

this weekend has been the most relaxing weekends I've had. i can't stop listening to sara bareilles- gravity lol. so goood. it like almost makes me wanna cry when i listen to it.

today i went up to lawrence hall of science in day light for the first time; the other opportunities of getting up there were during senior weekends or shadownites. i love the scenery there!

i love the beautiful people in my life.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. so tireddddddddd

reflection

lots of reflecting these past few weeks, and it's really good and cathartic.

language is powerful.

today is the last day for asuc elections. chaney deserves being in senate; she works so friggin hard for the API community, it's crazy. she's a hella strong womyn and critical thinkerrrrrr. can't wait until election-ing is done!



i want to paint.

<3 JINIA!

JINIAAA!!!!



my girlllllssss



day trip to Salinas/Monterey

loser

i am a loser.
i suck at knowing where things are or finding things.

3 packs of unused checks from bank of america.
a BART card worth $64 that my mom gave me yesterday.
a Lifehouse cd that Jennifer Wong lent me.
socks.
my mom's old yellow earrings.
an old ring.

i want to invent something that can help me locate all my possessions.
or be more careful.

my friend julian

seven.
seven pairs of khaki pants-
one for every school day.
those khakis are no longer worn, and in their place are
bug splats,
medals and salutes,
animal fur,
LV checkers.

line them up in his closet and see what
changes seven years have produced.
i can still remember
on the steps, we'd talk at noontime since lunch was the only moment i saw him.
online we'd speak about politics and his fascination
over how one book can give birth to a million followers.
those conversations are no longer spoken, and in their place are
hi.
bye.
i want those old days back.
spontaneous trips to davis and back.
those phone calls telling me you're dropping by in Berkeley type of back.

starting with dinner tomorrow =D yayyyyyy.

it's good to be home

Spring break has finally arrived! I should be catching up with homework since ASUC elections are starting right after break and I'll need all the free time to catch up I can get.. but I don't wannnnnna =[ haha

Today when I got back to SF I got to see my lovely OVC girls =]. Went bowlingggg and I was doing bad cuz I was still practicing my spinning technique. GAHH I'm SOO bad!

I always feel so much more relaxed at home! No pressure to clean and look nice for anyone at home. No need to cook food for myself because we have food!

Tomorrow, I go to Monterey to hang out with Pez Steph Mon n Jackieeee aka OVCCCCC =]

** HI JULIAN!!**

waking up on the right side of bed

this week is going really great. i thought it was gonna be a disaster because i didn't finish my homework on time, and my professor usually grades us lower if we do so, but i spoke with my GSI and he let me slide this time =D. AND my assignment for another class got pushed back til AFTER spring break. all is good with the world.

SHOUT OUT TO JINIA. she is super tighttttt.

spring break next week!!! i definitely need it!!


CHANEY "SAY WHAT?!" SAEPHAN FOR ASUC SENATE!

=]

ahahahha happy birthday to "veronia" who turned 21 last week!!! she had a fun weekend to celebrate hahaha. as did i!

people have called me a feminist, anarchist, idealist.. haha i don't know what all those exactly mean or stand for... but why do we need to label people just because some of us feel passionate about issues surrounding our community?



food makes me happy.

you found me

HElla stuff going on!! hope everyone's doing well, and i know that march is going to be a fun month =D
Las Vegas!
Spring Break!

I'm listening to the Fray's new album, thanks to Chester, and it's really good. I really like Never Say Never.



I love seeing old people enjoying ice cream on a cone.

i love my mentee jinia!

jinia's tight!!!

This weekend was really great. This was like the best ShadowNite I've helped out in! Going to the workshops for the first time, I learned a lot from the students' perspectives.
I am still trying to finish my application for Breakthrough, and if it all goes well, I will be interning as a teaching somewhere out of state =D. St. Paul, New Orleans, Philly... so many other choices too.. it'll be goooood.

I need to finish this application to redeem myself for not doing it last year.

HAH There was manifest for reach this Tuesday after it's meeting, and Francis, Danny, and Thear sang Adele's Chasing Payment, a song I super love!! It was so good and fun to watch =]

I got to perform my poem that I wrote below.
I love PE volleyball! I miss playing so much, and now that reach! is playing IM volleyball, it's even more exciting =]

Wow i just took a 10 minute nap and I dreamed that Aleta and I, and a few other people were on campus hanging out, and through a window there were a bunch of guys sitting in a circle talking but they dressed super bay and wore caps and hoodies that say SF or has the bridge on it haha. then i told aleta that she should get with them, and she's like sureeeee. one of the guys who apparently knows aleta was looking at her and saying something to someone but we didn't hear it. Aleta got hella mad and then ran in there yelling at the guy saying "don't talk about me" and she looked super crazy haha.

The end.

6:47 am

I finally finished my effing homework for my Language and Power class!!! Took me all night lol. Hope I do better this time than last time's homework =[. I look over to my left of my living room and there's a lot of sunlight shining out of the curtains haha I wish I could do this to actually see a sunrise, since I don't think I've ever seen one.

I hope I don't fall asleep in my 8am class like I did last time I pulled an all nighter for this same class...!

6 minutes before class

...5 minutes before class.
Feeling a little stressed because of the homework that I'm anticipating to do all night =[. Just ate some salad to make myself feel better that I know my body is all out of wack! But last night I played IM volleyball for REACH! 2. FINALLY we won a game haha.

I'm reading an article about how students are marketed in schools from big corporations and things... I remember in elementary school we were going on a field trip, and our school bus had a big big Old Navy advertisement with their mascot Magic on it. It was really creepy when I saw it because I was used to yellow buses, not big dogs on it!

I'm looking forward to ShadowNite this Thursday =D can't wait to see the students and chop it up with them haha.

ed 190

Just came back from my Ed 190 class' retreat, and it was a good bonding experience with a bunch of fools hahha. I'm really tired though.

One thing I wanted to share that we did was a "Where I'm From" poem.. they had a template but I took it in a different direction and it's not done, but I wanted to put this on here. I never really get to finish my poems, I think because I usually get a lot of motivation and inspiration in the beginning, and then I get stuck and it becomes more of a chore to finish.. but here's my "Where I'm From" poem in the making.

Where I'm From.
I am from tanlines-
the border that separates brown crisp skin and fair smoothness.

Every morning that I can remember, my father wakes up early to bring my sisters and me to school, picks up my uncle in Chinatown,
then start their days work in houses unfamiliar to our own.
Kitchens.
Bathrooms.
He will remodel,
and some days he works outside.
Paint.
Construct.
Tar roofs. All this in the beating sun.

He needs no protection from the sun,
for his dark brown pigment is the deepest
chocolate coat I know of any Chinese man.
Creases run down his face,
and large veins visible underneath his arms.

My mother, on the other hand, with thin fingers feeling
bumps of stitches in factories where she wears a face mask to protect her from the dust. Dust that permeates
from large sewing machines.
She barely sees the day as she situates herself indoors,
yet she is as gentle and light-toned as can be.

My own skin radiates them both sometimes,
depending on the time of year.
Summertime I enjoy the rays and outdoors- gregarious and carefree.
My dad's personality glows through my body.
Wintertime I'd rather remain inside to listen to
my sisters, grandparents, aunts, friends.
Untouched from melanin alterations or changes from reality,
My mother's clear gazes strike my own skin.

Intersections of fine lines,
there are no real lines.
Just gradations and blends of both.

balance

I've been hearing a lot about deaths and injuries lately of people close to me and to my friends. It's making me reflect on how little time we all have to do what we wanna doooo and achieve. I've been telling myself to calm down and focus on school, but at the same time I want to live lifeeeeee. I guess I'll need to balance that out to have both. I first need some me time!

I just ate Chipotle and now I'm super full. I don't like Chipotle and how they're part of McDonald's corp, but convenience... damnit!

sleep deprived.

I am sleep deprived. zombie status like whoaaaa.

i wanna cook and bake!

Yesterday I cooked pasta salad for my Ed 190 class' pot luck tonight while Wendy and Thear were baking cake/cupcakes and it was hella fun! I did absolutely nothing though haha in terms of homework n stuff =[. We surprised Lovie aka Chaney with a cake for her bday haha.

calm down

I need to calm down and focus on school! Too much fun means no work is being done haha.

I miss home a lotttttt! I came home last night after 3 weeks of being MIA in SF, and I was hanging out with Felicia and Chester today in Clement. Walking around and feeling really relaxed felt really nice =]. We ate crepes at Genki. yummy!

World, please don't get me more sick.

I LOVE family. I'm getting closer to my older cousins, which feels really good. It might be because I just turned 21, so they might be seeing me as an older Connie now. I've been hanging out with them and talking to them more, which used to not really happen. I was always considered one of the "little ones", not being able to join in on the secret santa gift exchanging bizznass with the older cousins, and they said I wasn't part of it because I wasn't working, and that I'm still a student..

But now I enjoy being around them, and I can tell they welcome me too haha =].

ode to son!

the son is hiding today
rain falls peacefully, streaming down the street.
it's been a while since it stretched its arms.
shine, son. shine.

remembering what I'm doing

After this REACH! retreat with all the conversations regarding what the mission statement really means and understanding my involvement, I've really just begun to internalize our mission statement. REACH! retreat was a blast!!! But back to reality from Napa!

situating myself!

DAMN A month of random fun over winterbreak!!! NEW YORK WAS SO AMAZING! I loved being there and seeing the urban life. I'm glad we were not really part of the Manhattan scene as much. Times Square is nice and all, but that definitely is not all that is New York. I loved living in the residential area of BROOKLYN!!! It felt really cool. The weather was hella freezing even though the sun was shining. Streets still had frozen water on the sidewalks! Subway training everywhere was pretty tight. Super intricate system fishooo.
Day 1








there's more pics but I'm too lazy. I had a blast though!

Coming back, was ICS, and it was great meeting new people and things. There was a crazy ass random party thrown at my apartment of that weekend (Jan 9-11) haha crazyyyyynesss.

Also went snowboarding with some people =]

School's begun, and two weeks ago was my 21st birthday =D. FUNNNNNNNN FUN FUN FUN except I don't remember half of the night of my party last week hahaha.

Reach retreat this weekend =]

<3
Corny